Article #3 - Fifth Series - July 10th, 2023 by Fr. Ben Daghir

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Article #3 -  Fifth Series - July 10th, 2023 by Fr. Ben Daghir

Editor's Note: This article is a summary of a homily by Fr. Ben Daghir at a wedding in 2022. The names of the bride and groom have been changed to “Mary” and “Paul” to respect confidentiality. The Gospel reading was the Wedding Feast at Cana. The homily is entitled "Filled to the Brim."

Article:
Pope St. John Paul II once stated, “True love sets no conditions. It does not calculate or complain. It just simply loves.” I find these words to be fitting for a marriage ceremony.

“True love sets no conditions. It does not calculate or complain. It just simply loves.” 

Paul and Mary, you know that in just a few minutes, you’ll both be exchanging vows. These marital vows leave no room for conditions, calculations, or complaints. 

In fact, your exchange of vows will soon become your autobiography. 

Paul, you’ll say to Mary:

“I, Paul, take you, Mary, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.”

Mary, you’ll respond and say to Paul:

“I, Mary, take you Paul, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.”

Notice the vows - no conditions, no calculations, and no complaints. 

In the Gospel reading we just heard, stating marital vows is like filling the jars with water during the Wedding Feast at Cana, all the way to the brim. You’re stating that you’re willing to give your whole self to the other, your whole being, all the way to the brim. 

Let Jesus Christ enter into your jars: meaning your whole being, which includes all your hopes, dreams, ambitions, worries, concerns, fears, struggles, wants, needs, and so much more. Let Christ enter into your life, all the way to the brim.

Let Christ turn mere jars of water into wine. Of course, the wine signifies God’s grace - it means the divine life. It’s what makes life intoxicating, thrilling, and remarkable. It’s grace which raises life to a higher pitch, it builds upon our nature, and it always offers a greater adventure and a greater love story. 

Notice that only Paul and Mary will state the vows. This is because it’s their choice. Love is a choice. Love is personal. Love is always directed to the other. Therefore, only Paul and Mary make their vows to one another. 

Notice too, that Paul and Mary will be stating that their commitment will endure regardless of what may happen throughout life (for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health). Marital love sets no conditions, it neither calculates nor complains. It just simply loves. Marital love is reflective of Jesus Christ’s love for the Church. Sacrificial. Personal. Unconditional. Faithful. Indissoluble. Life-giving. Intoxicating. 

Notice as well that Paul and Mary’s exchange of vows indicate “until death do us part.” Their commitment is for the whole of life. It’s a radical commitment. In other words, it’s filled to the brim. 

Paul and Mary, God has providently been at work long before you first met one another. 

In fact, God has known this day before you both were even born. He knows all things. God’s providence is always at work. 

God knew this wedding day before your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents met one another. 

Paul and Mary, your love story is not separated from your family members and from history. A marriage which cuts itself off from history, relies solely on human will power, and closes its eyes to God’s providence will lose its flavor over time. That type of marriage will not be like intoxicating wine, but will rather become bland and stagnant with the passage of time. 

On the contrary, a marriage which is open to God’s providence, relies on God’s grace, and understands itself to be in a much larger narrative than itself - will be like intoxicating wine. Its flavor will only improve and sweeten with the passage of time. This, of course, is the power of grace, of Christ’s presence. 

It’s time, Paul and Mary, to take your jars of water (which are filled to the brim with excitement, anticipation, hopes and dreams) and place those jars in the hands of God. It’s time for Christ through this sacrament of matrimony to turn mere water into wine. 

As Pope St. John Paul II stated, it’s time to just simply love.
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Fr. Ben Daghir is a priest for the Diocese of Erie. He is a graduate of Elk County Catholic High School in Saint Marys, Saint Vincent College in Latrobe, and St. Mary's Seminary & University in Baltimore, Maryland. He considers writing one of his favorite hobbies.